The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
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just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
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Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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