I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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