I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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