I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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