Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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