butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize