I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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