Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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