Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize