You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
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Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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