Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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