my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We had to coat check the pizza.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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