I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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