Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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