if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
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Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
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Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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