Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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