i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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