Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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