Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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