garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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