I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
