Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
he puts the penis in happiness.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
where are my eyebrows?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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