Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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