my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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