three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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