my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize