So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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