proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
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Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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