i barfeds in our rink
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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