Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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