he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize