did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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