Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize