There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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