its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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