Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize