I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize