Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
