dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize