I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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