Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize