We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
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i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
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I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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