I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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