This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize