Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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