I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize