How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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