now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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