So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize