so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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